It’s often easy to foresee that a game will be bad. Even so, it might still be a game that is trash in a good way. In other words, it could be so deliberately camp that it works for that very reason. SG/ZH: School Girl Zombie Hunter could have easily been one such silly little gem but sadly, it’s just plain bad.
That’s not to say its premise wouldn’t be good. Zombies have once again taken over the world, leaving five students of a private all-girl high school to fend themselves from the undead until a rescue team arrives. That shouldn’t be a problem at all, given that they’re armed with anything from handguns to assault rifles with infinite ammo to boot.
This third person shooter consists of short missions that are mostly served in three variations; clearing out an area of all foes, defending the home base from assaulting hordes for a given time, or fighting through enemies to reach a designated checkpoint. As per ecchi tradition, zombies getting too close will shred the heroine’s clothing and after sustaining enough damage, there’s no choice but to fight in just underwear. Those either brave or desperate enough can also ditch their clothes voluntarily; a tossed school uniform acts as a temporary decoy for all male zombies at least. Seems like death is no cure for lewdness.
All this could be fun if the production values and gameplay were there. They’re not. It’s still somewhat forgivable that the game would’ve look dated even on the PS3. What isn’t, though, is that its gameplay is just plain appalling. While it’s generally easy to move, turning is quite sluggish. Switching to aim mode means losing pretty much all mobility and having to wrestle with a camera that yanks the crosshairs so erratically that actually hitting anything is pure luck. That’s a real pity, especially when shooting from the hip only deals about half the damage compared to “aimed” shots. This would still be tolerable if it weren’t for the enemies. Not even until the game’s midway point, they turn into depressing bullet sponges that not just rush the player but also respawn indefinitely. It’s hopeless to try much anything when being constantly swarmed by 4-5 zombies that might not go down even with a shotgun blast from four inches away.
Completed missions can be replayed in hopes of a better grade or completion time, and they give out both experience points and collectible items that can be used to customize the girls’ clothing and weapons. Still, since even a bit of grinding didn’t make progress any easier, I’ll leave this one be. Unfunny rubbish.